so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
