I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
that may or may not have been my penis.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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