idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
