Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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