My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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