so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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