I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
