its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
this hospital has no fireball
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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