its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
