covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
