Umm I'm too high to move.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
