Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
