I was born with a shot glass in my hand
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
