Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
So much Jack, so little girl.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
