the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
