All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
