I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Randomize
