she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
