Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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