I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
