dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
