i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
