glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
