Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
