Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Randomize
