Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
