don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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