please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
vagina is talking i cant
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
