absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Randomize
