ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
i need to put some appletini on your dick
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
