I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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