how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
