is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Please don't give away my fajitas
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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