Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
