Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize