I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
