respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Randomize
