I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
