I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
