K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
he wants to bone in the snuggie
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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