you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
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