I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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