You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
