It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
