I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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