Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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