last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I've blown a few things in my day
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Randomize
