Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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