My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
