I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
