I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
