Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
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