That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
